The Five Dollar Goat

So.  Gus came in smiling.  I was scared.

Gus:  Hey.

Me:  What did you do?

Gus:  Um.  I bought a goat.  For $5.

Me:  O-kay.

Gus:  And.

Me: What?

Gus:  She needs to be milked twice a day.

Me:  .

Gus:  It’ll be fun.

Me: .

Gus:  Look, do you want cookies and milk during the apocalypse, or not?

Me: .

Gus:  That’s what I thought.

• I went along with this, mostly because I know how distraught he was over the loss of the polka dotted goat, and I am just selfless like that.
• Goat’s milk is kind of gross.  Mostly because goat teats are pretty gross and I
  just cannot bring myself to put anything in my mouth that came out of those
  things.